Hi y'all,

What a heavy and weird day it's been. I was under no illusion that the election of one person over another would fix everything, but certainly the way it went made for grief, fear, discouragement, and lots of heavy feelings.

My amazing friend, James-Olivia Chu Hillman, and talented teacher on the skills of relating (IG: @inquisitive_human) sent out this newsletter today and it was exactly the balm I needed. There were no platitudes, bright-siding, nor was there plunging into despair. Instead, they offered encouragement to give our body what it needs and offer a series of gentle questions to check-in with ourselves. I'm sharing this newsletter with their full permission. If you appreciate what they wrote, please consider checking out their Instagram or subscribing to their newsletter for thoughtful, and often, provocative questions that will challenge your idea of relating to others. The way I see it, in my humble opinion, being able to relate to another person in moments of deep difference is an useful life skill that's especially crucial to this point in our country's growing pains.

Wherever you are and however you are feeling, I hope you find ways to care for and ground yourself. I'm very grateful to be in community with each of you. I'm looking forward to seeing you in class this week.

With lots of love,

Holly

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BELOVED HUMAN​
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Neither my rage nor my righteousness negate my responsibility. Neither my grief nor my fear negate my power. My responsibility remains, as does my power. How will I use them in service to the whole (which necessarily includes me, those I love, and even those I fear or oppose)?

Today I make room for rest, my own and others’.
Today I make room for grief, my own and others’.
Today I make room for rage, my own and others’.

This is part of my responsibility to myself and to the collective.
This is part of stewarding and tending to our power.
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In Regard I share a brief series of simple questions I ask myself and answer when I experience distress, desire clarity, or want to reconnect with my own power in the present moment. Perhaps they can also be supportive to you in this moment.

(1) What sensations am I experiencing right now?

I focus on sensations in the body rather than emotions for this one. Emotions come with stories—I’m not looking for my story of what happened… I’m looking to locate myself in my own physical experience in this moment. (E.g. my heart is beating faster than usual, my breath feels shallow and constricted, my legs are tense, and I feel hot and cold at the same time. I feel restless and heavy like a coiled up spring with a cinder block on top of it. And my mouth and throat feel dry.)

(2) What do I need in this moment?

Safety? Rest? Connection? Nourishment? A shower? To see my best friend’s face, hear their voice, or feel their hand on mine? A sense of security for my children’s future? To drink a glass of water? Medicine? A walk? An orgasm? Collective liberation?

(3) What are my responsibilities?

What are my opportunities to engage my power? What is mine to pick up? What is currently within my sphere of influence and care?

(4) What are my resources? (Internal & external, material, financial, intellectual, social, emotional, spiritual, relational)

What skills, tools, experience, knowledge, wisdom, people, friendships, community, information (from within and without), ritual, memory, practices, Ancestors, Spirit/Source/Creator, intuition, art, music, poetry, story, movement, plants & animal friends, material resources, land, currency, energy, pleasure, courage, technologies, curiosity, resolve, rage, conviction, doubt, wonder, dissatisfaction, imagination, logic, capacity, or will can I draw upon as a resource in this moment? What else, however big or small, is available to me right now?

(5) Whom & what do I love?

On whose behalf do I (and will I) use my resources and capacities? (Am I on my own list?)

(6) Given my needs, my responsibilities, my resources, and my love, what one small, aligned thing am I willing and able to do right now?

This may mean—among countless other possibilities—rest or action, grieving, gathering, prayer or pettiness, giving or receiving, requesting or offering, speaking truth or strategic silence, nothing at all or something else altogether. (The questions are “What can I do?” and "What will I do?"... not “What shouldI do?”)

(7) What sensations and emotions am I experiencing in this moment?

Note: My sensations and emotions are happening inside me right now. Circumstances, events, and other people’s actions are external to me and are not my own sensations or emotions. I avoid using “-ed” words like rejected, betrayed, loved, abandoned, or words like seen, heard, or misunderstood. These “-ed” words indicate what has happened to me in past tense, not what my body and mind are experiencing in the present moment. (Some present tense sensation & emotion examples: heat in my face, rage, heartache, numbness, heaviness in my limbs, bliss, tingling, fear, terror, awe, pressure, a tickle in my stomach, contentment, confusion, fondness, itchiness, tightness/constriction, expansiveness… and there are countless other possibilities. My hope is that you will find richness in exploring, noticing, encountering and befriending yourself, rather than trying to achieve certainty by labeling yourself.)
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Please take exquisite care of yourselves and each other, today and all days. ❤️

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BIG GRATITUDE & A SMALL PRAYER

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I'm grateful to be alive with you on this planet in these times, learning to relate with more skill, more care, more grace. I believe it matters, especially right now.
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May we regard our own and each other's humanity so deeply that care for the collective is both irresistible and inevitable.
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With love, always,
James-Olivia
​Inquisitive Human​